Extra Blog Post

Helo everyone!

Today, September 27th, is quite the special day! Do you know why?

Well, of course you do. The link said exactly what day it was!

But for those who don’t read links (which is sometimes me too!):

Today is the 2nd Anniversary of Pudding's Cove!

And I decided to make a short little page to commemorate this occasion!

What's the page about you may wonder?

Basically a self-indulgent, a bit emotional and a little selfish, trip to the past!

So let's begin!

This past year has been quite an eventful one. I went from basically not knowing what I was doing with this website to (slightly) understanding more not only about coding, but myself too!

Some many things have been added and changed in this website that is kind of difficult to list them all, but if I had to pick something that I would say it's “The Most Important”, I would pick my writing page 100% of the time. I love writing, but I didn’t really know that until I began making this website…

Since I was little, I always had these dreams and imaginations of fantastical stories, full of characters, history and events. (usually based on media I saw at the time.)

But never had any desire to bring these to reality, school taught me to absolutely hate writing… well, that's a bit unfair, school didn’t teach me that. Rather, forced me to do it which led to this hate but that's beside the point.

Now flash forward many years later, here's that little kid with a wild imagination, actually putting those dreams into paper and showing these worlds to the reality outside his head.

In the past year, I have been dedicating more and more of myself to writing, trying to get better at so I can tell these stories that have been floating in my head for so long in the best way possible!

But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows…

It has been 2 full years ever since I decided to change the course of my life by creating this website… and I'm still sometimes haunted by the person I was back then, that “worthless” me.

Many times, especially when I'm writing, I hear their whispers:

“Are you really capable of doing this?”

“You're not good enough.”

“Stop pretending you have any skills.”

“Just give up, it's not like you had any talent to begin with.”

“You are Worthless.”

Always saying the same words… Worthless… a word I knew way too well back then…

These whispers encouraging me to… give up all this “nonsense” and just go back to doing nothing and being nothing. I can't lie, sometimes these whispers are tempting. During times of struggle, they always seem like the best wait out, “Stop trying, you know you will never achieve what you want. You're just wasting your time.”

I love what I'm doing even if it's hard, and they keep trying to tell me that I'm wrong?

I'm sure many can relate to this, your inner demons are always an unfair opponent to fight. Always striking while you're down, always putting salt in your wound while convincing you that they are right and you are wrong.

When this used to happen in the past, I would eventually give up to their temptation and accept their “vision” of myself…

But things are different now.

This website is here as my will to “change”. Proudly standing here for the world and for them to see.

They are not as all consuming as they were before as well. That once monolithic enemy was reduced to just a whisper that I can fight!

I'm not what they still try to tell me what I am.

I'm not worthless!

I have great friends (Like Miya, they are a very good friend, please follow their website!) that I love dearly which helped me overcome these inner demons.

I'll continue to write and enjoy what I do even if it's a difficult road to walk through!!

Because I'm Pudding!!! and I won't let them try to take that away from me anymore!

Happy 2nd Anniversary Pudding's Cove!

One Anniversary of many more to come!

If you have similar struggles to me, I have a message to you:

It's very tempting to accept what your inner demon tells you, but you have to remember they are a foul enemy. They will never fight a fair battle.

I didn't get to this point without picking the sword on the ground again and again until I came on top. Friends and family want to see you win!

Change starts with you and I'm sure you can do it too!